The life and times of Lelouch and friends
by Day 2 live Day 2 Die
Summary: ok funny moments that lelouch and his friends have XD a must read WARNING: crack fic
1. Pissy the scorpion

Lelouch sighed as him and Suzaku lounged lethargically on the couch. Lelouch sighed and looked at Suzaku "what do you want to do?" Suzaku asked. Lelouch shrugged "I'm not sure but I got to go bleed the stake." He said standing. Lelouch stood up and went to the bathroom.

He washed his hand and out of the corner of his eye he saw something move across the floor. "What's that?" he asked himself?" he asked bending down. On the floor was a small scorpion. It crawled under the door and into Suzaku's room into a dark corner. Lelouch walked to the door.

"Suzaku," Lelouch called "want to go on an adventure?" he asked Suzaku came up "no I don't like adventures" he said. Lelouch grinned, "Ok then just bring me a bottle, a spoon, and a flashlight." Suzaku gave him a puzzling look but went down stair to retrieve the items. Suzaku came back and hand Lelouch the spoon and a Gatorade bottle.

"Where is the flashlight?" Lelouch asked. "I couldn't find one but I have my phone." Suzaku said. Lelouch nodded "ok point your phone in that corner." He pointed to the dark corner. Suzaku looked at him funny for a moment but then shined the light from his phone in the corner. There in the corner of Suzaku's room laid the scorpion, which now looked dead.

"Dude…what is that?" Suzaku asked. "It's a scorpion" Lelouch said Suzaku looked at it for a moment and blinked "It looks dead dude." He said. "I'm going to poke it." He said. He took the spoon and poked the scorpion with the handle of the spoon multiple times.

Finally the scorpion jumped up in an attacking position. He looked at Suzaku and started to charge at him. Suzaku dropped his phone and started to run. Lelouch acted quickly and tried scooping the scorpion into the Gatorade bottle. The scorpion moved and turned raising its claws he went to attack Lelouch.

Lelouch blinked and scooped it up with the spoon and flung it into the bottle. The scorpion looked around and jabbed the side of the bottle with it's claw. After a few minutes he started to climb the ridges inside it. "Get me a Styrofoam cup Suzaku"" Lelouch said. Suzaku looked around his room and found one handing it to Lelouch.

Lelouch dumped the scorpion into the Styrofoam cup. The scorpion looked around. And stung the side of the cup angrily. "Man he's not happy" Lelouch said. "Yeah he's in a pissy mood." Suzaku said. Lelouch's eyes lit up as Suzaku said that.

He took the Styrofoam cup and carved the word Pissy in the side. "I shall call him Pissy and forever shall his name be Pissy." Lelouch said. The scorpion again stabbed the side of the cup. "Dude feed him some thing to clam him down." Lelouch said. Suzaku blinked "what do scorpions even eat?"

Lelouch thought a moment and went to the computer. "it says it depends on the species." He said. Suzaku made a face "I don't know the species." Lelouch looked around and found a dead wasp. He picked it up and threw it in the Styrofoam corpse.

Pissy looked at it and stung it once then jabbed the side of the cup again. Suzaku looked around his room some more and found a fly's corpse. He threw it in and Pissy stared at it un amused. "Well now what?" Suzaku asked after a moment. Lelouch sighed and looked at the bag of tortilla chips next to him.

He took out a chip and broke off a piece and threw it in. Pissy stared at it and grabbed onto it with his claws and didn't let go. Lelouch and Suzaku watched Pissy for a while and got bored "want to go watch Boondocks?" Suzaku asked. Lelouch nodded and they put a lid over Pissy's cup and went down stairs and began watching tv.

A few hours later they went back up and Pissy was gone. "Pissy is gone" Suzaku said. Lelouch looked in the cup "yeah and he took the tortilla chip too." They both sighed and their eye's widened they both looked down at their feet. They were both barefoot with Pissy lost some where in the room. Lelouch stepped onto Suzaku's bed and Suzaku followed "when can we got down?" Suzaku asked Lelouch sighed "I don't know…I just don't know."

(Post ending here)

ok guys you might be thinking wtf where did this come from XD let me tell you this is a TRUE story no lie word to word is a true story told to me by my friend whose favorite character is Lelouch. Anyway some things that might confuse people:

To bleed the stake means to pee or use the restroom

Lethargically means to be lazily or have no energy

Ok any other questions post them in you review this is a series of true things that have happened to me and my friends that we find hilarious so read and review and such ;)


	2. Hollister experiences

**Hollister Experiences**

**Lelouch:**

**Lelouch walked with his friend Rivals in the mall. "Hey let's stop by Hot Topic" Lelouch told Rivalz going to the head of the dark looking store. Rivalz followed and stopped at the doorway. "Dude that's creepy I'm not going in." he said. **

**Lelouch sighed, "Well where do you want to go?" he asked his very cowardly friend. "Hollister" he replied grinning. "Come on" Lelouch had heard about this store and heard it was great so he decided to follow and see what it was like. **

**When Hollister came into sight. Lelouch stopped he was at least 10 feet away but the scent of the horrid cologne and perfume was strong. Rivalz looked at him unaffected. "You coming dude?" he asked.**

**Lelouch nodded and they reached the doorway. He looked up at a poster that Hollister was displaying. It was a shirtless teen that had a six pack. He was pulling his pants down a bit. Lelouch shuttered at the poster. **

**He almost stepped into the entrance, which Rivalz had already gone through when he heard the music. The music was horrid, awful, and grotesque. It was…upbeat techno music. **

**Lelouch thought for a moment and then it clicked. It had all come together. 'shirtless guy and upbeat techno music means………gay bar.' He thought and turned on his heel and ran away. **

**He ran all the way back to Hot Topic and grabbed a Nirvana shirt. He sat in the corner of Hot Topic in the fetal position, with the shirt, listening to jimmy cash. Never again would he enter Hollister.**

**Kaleen:**

**Kaleen groaned as she found herself being drug from the mall's skate park by her friend Milly. "where are we going Milly?" she asked. Milly stopped infront of a store. Kaleen looked up and her eyes winded, "no way." Kaleen said. Milly walked in. Kaleen looked through the window. **

**She saw a poster of a girl in a sport's bra and Hollister jeans. Kaleen's nose wrinkled in disgust. She walked into a few steps inside the dreadful store. The pact scent of Hollister perfume hit her. Kaleen gagged and the store clerk looked at he disgusted. **

**She walked over to Kaleen. Kaleen studied the clerk. She reminded her of the girl in the poster. In the same exact outfit and everything. 'Mindless Hollister clones' she thought. She herself was in a hoodie she had borrowed from a friend and baggy jeans with holes. She carried her skateboard as well. **

"**If you don't plan to buy something leave." The clerk snapped viscously at Kaleen. Kaleen was now pissed at the clerk. " Well you know what." Kaleen hissed. The clerk looked at her. **

"**If everything in this store wasn't so gay maybe I would buy something" Kaleen said and turned walking out smiling as she saw the clerk's expression through the window. **

**-endofstorywhyareyoureadingthis-**

Notice: got a story you want to be shared with the world but in code geass for just do the following:

tell me the story in great detail and tell me the characters you want in it in pm or your review!!!!!

Otherwise just enjoy!!!


	3. Rivalz 16th birthday party

Kallen looked around the park that Rivalz friends had rented out for him and it was spectacular. There was a clown and baloon and a huge three layered cake. Kallen walked into the park with the smill girft she had gotton Rivalz for his 16th birthday. She set it down with the others and looked around. Lelouch poked her shoulder.

Kallen looked at him "Hi Lulu." she said. "Where is Rivalz?" she asked. Lelouch shrugged "he should be here soon." he said. "Hurry up lelouch." Suzaku said holding up the football suddenly he was on the ground with Milly on top of him. "don't be a ball hog!" she said.

Kallen laughed a little andl ran out to play with them. Alot of people showed up, Milly, Suzaku, Rollo, Kallen, and lelouch were playing football. Nunnally was talking to a few other guests. Mogi was grilling burgers and alot of kids were with the clown.

About two hours later everyone was bored. "Rivalz still isn't here" Kallen sighed. Lelouch looked around with an odd look on his fac. "hey guys..." he said "huh?" they all asked. "Did anyone tell Rivalz his party was at the park?" They all looked around at each other a puzzled look on each face. "crap" Kallen said.

----MEANWHILE-------

Rivalz was sitting at his house with a party hat on, a cake infront of him he had made, and a balloon tied to the chairs. e looked around and looked down sighing sadley.


	4. Threats

Ok ok part 4 of this thing lol I get the ideas as I go and right now I can find nothing that matches up to Pissy the Scorpion so bear with me.

Startthestorystartthestorystartthestory--------------------------

Threats created by friends and have been used several time. Please note no threat has really been used physically on someone. WARNING: Contains vilolence,sexual reference, and multiple use of the word spork.

Lelouch

"Dude back off before I go all ninja on you"

"I will stab you consecutively and the pee on the wounds"

Kallen

" Lelouch, touch me again and I will stab your eyes out with a Spork"

" I will chop off your knees and beat you with them"

"I will castrate you and stick your balls so far up your rectum that you'll need surgery to get them out."

"I will castrate you with a spork"

**Milly:**

"I will push you in front of a train"

"I will gauge your eyes out with a spork."

"I will freaking castrate you, pull off your eyelids with eye lash curlers, and carve a heart in your arm with a knife."

"I will tie you to a tree and practice archery."

**Rollo:**

"I will put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool and watch you do the rest."

"I will turn into a vampire and drink your blood."

**Endthestoryendthestoryendthestory**

Ok these are all real threats my friends have used in the past that I can think of most are hilarious XD If you want me to make a story for something that has happened to you than I will if you pm me or email me at Kali_


End file.
